Is looking through someone’s phone or Facebook ok? How many people do it?

Have you ever wondered how common it is to check someone’s phone or Facebook account in a new or established relationship? And is this ever ok?

Whether you’re going on your first date or deciding to move in together, there are plenty of ways to get to know someone. Spend time talking (and listening) to each other, try doing the things you love, sharing your most embarrassing moments, or even try twenty questions.

Whatever you do, though, there’s one thing most relationship experts agree is a pretty bad idea: snooping.

It may be tempting to look at your partner’s phone when they aren’t looking or  look inside their bathroom cupboard, but experts warn it could negatively affect relationship trust in the future.

Porch surveyed over 1,000 people about the poking, prodding, and prying they’ve done in current and past relationships. They wanted to find out how many people have invaded their partners privacy?

The results are interesting!

The study found that technology had a way of getting between couples!

Here is What they Found

• 33% start invading their partner’s privacy less than six months after they started dating
• Women are more likely to go through their partners phone than men
• While women are more interested in checking their partner’s digital footprint, men were far more interested in looking through their partner’s purse
• 57%  have gone through their partner’s text/call history
• 50% have checked their Facebook activity
• 66%  share their passcode with their partner as they believe this builds trust.

Snooping is a bad idea because it can be far more detrimental to the relationship than helpful.  Generally the temptation to check the phone/facebook comes from larger issues in your relationship or from past hurts.  When you snoop you erode trust, which is essential for a healthy relationship. Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally.

As much as the temptation is understandable, there are healthier options to address your concerns.

Here are my tips:

1. Recognise the difference between curiosity and a deep gut feeling that something is wrong. Although recognise the difference between a gut feeling and worrying that what happened to you in the past will happen again. If you have been cheated on it the past it can be easy to be paranoid in a new relationship.
2. Address your concerns head on. If you have a genuine deep gut feeling it usually comes for a reason and you will need to discuss it. Approach the issue calmly, in a non-accusatory manner. Take the time to talk about your worries through open communication. Open communication is how you create a happy, healthy relationship.
3. Ask for what you need in a relationship.  People act out when their needs are being met in a relationship but often don’t ask for what they need.

Want to read more? – Noeline Brown: Making Ageing Sexy