What is happening in your life is resultant of what’s happening in your mind. Our thoughts create our reality. Therefore, when we experience an event that causes enormous pain, it can be feel way too difficult to process and far easier to numb the pain and deny it’s there.
We deny our pain by becoming completely numb, feeling nothing and instead turning to medications, addictions to sex, drugs an/or alcohol, working all the time, avoiding personal relationships, and focusing on being ‘busy’ and spending time with others. Basically, anything to avoid being left with our own thoughts.
Numbing the pain is simply a band-aid approach, there will come a moment when the band-aid is ripped off and you are left to deal with the enormous pain you have been ignoring for weeks and/or sometimes months or even years.
The enormity of the pain suggests a far greater need to heal yourself via self-care for that which was not working for you, hurting you, or what you were simply choosing to ignore. One of the fastest ways to heal is to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions – to let go. Sometimes, fear stops us from going there however when you allow yourself to release all of those pent-up emotions you feel as like a massive weight been lifted off your shoulders. You feel lighter and freer. You can start by watching a movie that makes you cry, meditating and allowing your mind to quieten, go to a boxing class to release your anger or start journaling your thoughts to understand your true inner feelings.
Another powerful way to process your emotions is by choosing to view the perspective in an empowering way instead of feeling like the ‘victim’. Consciously choose to look at your situation through a new lens.
As Byron Katie explains: ‘Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it…. It’s just easier if you do.’
Write down 2 scenarios – the first scenario explains how you felt a sense of loss or were the ‘victim’ and the second scenario is to write the scenario in a way that empowers you and identify how you benefited from the situation.
Ask yourself:
- What lessons and blessings did you receive as a result of this situation?
- How did this situation help you change your thoughts and/or behaviours?
- How did you grow as a person?
- What was the significant meaning of experiencing this situation?
‘The person who needs nothing cannot be controlled and has the most power’ – Ghandi
Ultimately, nothing and no-one has any power over you. It is your thoughts that create a story and can either empower or disempower you. When you change the stories you tell, you change your life. Time and time again, it is those with the strongest mindset in life whom succeed.
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