Life Begins At » John Pond is a grumpy old man(GOM)

John Pond is a grumpy old man(GOM)

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are those of a Grumpy Old Man and not those of The Retiree magazine or APRS.

On a cruise recently there was more than 200 kids onboard (and it wasn’t even school holidays), with many of them lazing around the  lounges with their feet on the tables. I jokingly told them if they didn’t take their feet down I would have them arrested and locked in their cabins for the rest of the journey. They quickly complied – it’s good being a GOM.John Pond Profile_GOM

Swimming pool fences are the latest hot topic. New laws require more secure fences, with mammoth fines for non compliance. How about fining parents who let  heir children roam unsupervised? How about making councils erect barriers at beaches and around fountains? We are over-regulated to the extreme and the sad part is I really don’t think it will make much difference. Statistics show, unfortunately, the majority of drownings occur in pools with pool fences installed.

I believe all medically fit dole recipients aged under 40, who have been on the dole for 12 months or more, should do public service work for three days a week in order to continue receiving payments. Work such as park beautification or graffiti removal may soon enough encourage them to find paid work.

I drove my neighbour to board a ship cruising to New Zealand. I suggested she go to the singles party on board where single cruisers have the opportunity to meet. The only problem, she said on her return, was there were no single men on board. Well ladies, I guess it proves you are the stronger sex and outlive us. Don’t wait till it’s too late. Take your cruises earlier with your partner and to hell with the kids’ inheritance.

I’ve heard of lot about Skype and how great it is to call friends, especially interstate or overseas, for no cost. Sound too good to be true? Well, I was told it takes only a few minutes to set up and is not too difficult. Perhaps this may be true if you are 15 years of age! Nevertheless, after about one hour I was set up, although it took another two hours to figure out how to work it.

Ideally, one should own a late-model computer with a built-in camera. Once set up, you can then call another person’s Skype number and talk to them for an unlimited amount of time, anywhere in the world, at no cost whatsoever. What a great way to keep in touch with the family no matter where you are, and you’ll be a lot less grumpy when you get your next phone bill.

The only problem is, when I want to call someone with a video call, I have to have a shave, get dressed in something nice and clean up the room! A lot of trouble – I think I preferred the old way better.

Grumpy Old Men would have twice the number of great ideas if only they could remember them.

Yours truly in grumpiness,
John Pond J.P., G.O.M.

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Alana Lowes

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